I decided to spice things up a little, and went looking for a Go-Go bar with a bit of an Asian theme… you know, to change things up a bit. I headed out to Suzie Wong on Soi Cowboy. It is about halfway up the street, on the left if you are facing the right way, otherwise it is on your right.

The bar consists mainly of the oft-repeated set-up of a long narrow bar down the centre of the room with lines of benches on both sides. There is a row of seats right at the foot of the stage for those men with bad eyesight. The decorative theme of the place is ‘Chinese’ with traditional Chinese paintings gracing the pillars that hold the roof off your head.

There are about 6 to 8 women on the stage at any given time. All of them were fairly trim and beautiful. There were a number of tens, and not a single caesarean in sight. The dancers wore fishnet stockings and…. a smile. It is nice when things are left to the imagination sometimes, but as my imagination was resting that particular night, it was nice that there was not a lot of work for it to do. The dancing was sensual but not particularly memorable in any way. I thought I had got the general idea.

But then Deep Purple’s Smoke On The Water began to play through the impressive sound system and things got a little more interesting. Each of the women who happened to be on stage at the time were handed a pair of lit cigarettes. At first I thought to myself, “That’s not nice! That smoke is bad for your lungs.” The good news is that the smoke went nowhere near their lungs. But the ladies smoked those cigarettes alright! Diaphragms flexed and before you knew it the women were puffing away. A few fellow smokers in the crowd took advantage of the moment to head up to the stage and light their own cigarettes off of the tip of the girls’. It made me wish I had brought my hookah with me!

The next song really tickled my fancy. With Hotel California playing, two sets of two girls (that’s four women for those doing the math), each of them a ten, took the stage. So, in short 40 took the stage. There wasn’t so much dancing for this piece, but there was lots to look at. One woman of each set either laid down or performed some form of standing splits, resting the heal of her foot against one of the brass poles, while the other girl got close and personal. Lips and a tongue touched lips, but no one was kissing! After a minute or two (remember this was to Hotel California, so there were lots of minutes) the women switched off and the other one either laid down or did some sort of acrobatics that made it easier for her partner to partake in the fruits of her flexibility.

The next song marked a return to basic go-go dance action, as the ‘performance art’ portion of the show is spread out through a repeating cycle during the night. So no matter when you come in, it won’t be long before you are seeing something a bit unusual. If you walk by when Hotel California is playing, just remember, you can check it out any time you like, but you may never leave!

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