I knew the moment I entered that my night at BASH, a high-end dance club on Sukhumvit Soi 11 (just next to the Australian restaurant) was going to be great. It certainly started out well.

I was greeted at the front door, more like a thick metal bank vault door than a club entrance, by security guards who needed to ‘search’ my bag. I pretended to unzip it, and he pretended to look inside.

Then I was greeted by a ‘little person’ in a 1940’s bellhop uniform. That’s right, a little person. Named Ai. Nice guy, but he is really short… it’s like, weird. Things were starting to get good! Nothing says your night is going to be wild better than meeting a little person in a 1940’s bellhop uniform.

He takes you into an old-timey elevator with the metal grate for a door but somehow a Star Trek futuristic control panel. He can barely reach the buttons that are located oddly higher than on any elevator I have ever been in. We go up a floor and the doors open. I am about to be BASHed.

As I head from the elevator to the main room I pass the women’s bathroom, which has a large glassless window in the door so everyone can look right in, is all mirrors and rhinestones. Girls can primp and preen surrounded by various narcissistic angles of themselves. They can imagine that the rhinestones are diamonds, and that they are actually living on the surface of some old ladies bedazzled sweater. You will know it is the women’s bathroom because of the silhouette on the door of a topless woman sitting on the shitter pushing out a big one.

Getting BASHed starts here!

I carry on into the main room, a two-story lightshow out of a Hollywood movie. They have spared no expense. It’s all high-end and space-age materials. Tables glow and pillars expel pinpricks of light. But the ceiling is coated with a layer of spray foam insulation, you know, the kind they put on the ceiling of a parking garage. So you can just park your ass and feel at home.

But finding a place to sit isn’t as simple as it sounds. All the seats on the lower floor are a series of silver leather couches along the wall on three sides. These space-aged body-support devices (seats) are reserved for bottle service customers. Bottles range from 2,500 to 15,000, but split between you and your buddy and your 8 girlfriends that isn’t too bad. The rest of the lower floor is a series of high tables that allow you to stand or dance to the live DJ.

There are some seats on the second floor for the regular customers. At 300 baht cover charge, which includes a free drink that could be you! Much of the second floor is a balcony over which you can watch the DJ and the action on the floor below. There is a third floor, but it was not open on this visit. Something about renovations… but my Thai isn’t good enough to be sure.

The DJ booth is pretty well done, with lights and a big LED display. The lighting system is top notch, so if you are on mushrooms you will discover something truly profound about yourself. The music is all electronica dance, through a great sound system and at a perfect volume.

The place opens at 12:00 midnight, and closes at around 6:00am. But things don’t heat up until around two.

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